Fear

Fear surges through me as I try to break contact, but they are set staring into cold ice blue eyes. They almost seem empty- a quick glance I would have seen nothing.  But I chose to stare into them, and now I’m terrified of more than these eyes- I am afraid of what I see in them. I see part of myself, the part that I hide away from everyone, the part I hide from myself.  I see myself alone. I know why. The pair of eyes is hollow; even though they hold a spear that leaves me an empty shell without a soul. Even my childhood fear of the dark lingers in the pair of eyes. All insecurities staring back at me, the truth piercing into my heart, and tearing me down.

 I jump back when the beast snarls, and suddenly I am staring at the jaws, the shout, and the long shaggy fur clumped together. My legs lock as my mind races, trying to pull me away from the monster that knows me too well. The whole beast terrifies me and I cannot run in fear that I still cannot escape. I fear that the beast is stronger than I.

 My eyes carefully wander to the chain wrapped around the beast, secured with a heavy lock. It isn't free. It is contained. It tugs fiercely, but it only chokes itself as the chain stays where it is. It's only free once the lock is broken.

 That’s when I know. I have what the beast will never have. I turn around, my knees still weak, but my mind trusts enough to know that I can turn my back. I confidently take each step forwards, leaving the beast in my past- to never see my future again.

The beast snarls, barks, and roars, daring me to take another step.  But the beast is from behind, where I left it. The voices from the past cannot and haunt me.  I can hear the hunger in his voice. It thirsts not only for my blood, but to tear apart the precious and dear that I hold in my heart. The creature wants to destroy what he can never have.  This time, fear does not hit me. I have gained my courage.  I turn and face the monster, ready to confront it.

 "Beast," I say, uncurling my fingers, showing him the key in my palm, “I am not stronger than you- but that chain is. I trust the chain to hold you while I walk. Why should I be afraid of a wolf when I hold the key to free him?"