My Coach, My Friend, My Older Brother

I used nicknames instead of real names for respect and privacy.
".....Gunny's Dead."
I don't believe it. It's not real. It can't be real. Hollywood's got to me making a terrible sarcastic joke. I saw Gunny this Saturday. He was perfectly fine. Gunny can't be dead. He was only 18. He wasn't done with his life. He can't be dead. He was suppose to get better.
My brain works only in short, simple sentances. "You're joking, right?" Everyone's facial expression says it all. My blood drains out of my face. I feel weak. I need to sit down or I'm going to collapse, but I'm already caught in a huge group hug. "Why is everybody hugging me?" Georgia looks at me and says " You looked like you needed it the most" I just nod and choke out " I need to sit down." I walk 5 feet to the destination that seems so far away. I sit down and hide my face. He's gone. Passed away.  Tears run down my face, I try to stop them for a few seconds, but there are too many to fight. My will to fight is gone. From what was a few tears dripping from my checks turns into a waterfall. Cries and sobs that I don't even know start coming.
 Georgia comes sit by me and pats me on the back. Lunch seems too quick, and I have to call my mom to be excused from chemistry. "I can't take it." I whimper, but it was pointless to explain, because everyone knows exactly why I'm excusing myself. I call my mom and I choke out " Mom.....can you excuse me from fourth period?" It takes awhile, but I manage to tell my mom that Gunny passed away, and nothing but sobs and cries of anguish follow.
It seems too much like a dream. Gunny couldn't of left us this easily. No goodbyes, nothing.  He was perfectly fine Saturday, and then went into a seizure monday. We were praying and fasting for him today. He was suppose to get better, and life would go on. He wasn't suppose to die like this, he was going to become an electrician, he was suppose to meet the girl of his dreams and marry her in the temple. But now, everything was going to be different.
"It's okay, Eva, he's in a better place now." Georgia comforts me through her own tears.  That's when it hit me- All his plans were changed, all of our plans were changed. Only the Lord's plans were still the same. My savior has a bigger picture in mind, and Gunny is part of it. This is where Gunny left to be called on a mission for the those who had passed away without the knowledge of the church. And  Gunny was one of those men needed to be called to leave his family and friends for a short time, then who was I to stand in the way?

Even though I knew this, tears just ran down my face. I still missed him more than anything, and the second coming seemed so far away. Memories of  Gunny were shared with my other fellow guard members, Gunny teaching rifle line, his ridiculous comments. And with my team, we got through the impossible hour. We spent the rest of the day at the temple, feeling the comfort we needed, reassuring us that the Lord had sent Gunny to a better place, and that because he had suffered for our sins and rose from the dead, that Gunny was going to live again.
That night was the most difficult night of my life. I dragged myself to my bed and cried even more. I was now alone, and afraid of what my dreams were going to bring me. Suddenly humbled, I remembered that I hadn't read my scriptures or knelt down in prayer yet. After managing to read through my fuzzy vision, I knelt down in prayer, and prayed for all of my friends going through this impossible night as well. I prayed for Gunny's family. I thanked the Lord for the memories of Gunny that I had and allowing me to have him in my life. I thanked him for letting me get so close to him in the few months I knew him.  When I went to bed, I felt comfort and peace.
I'm not going to lie, the following week was difficult. My 16th birthday passed, but it hardly meant anything, other than meeting down with my friends. When people asked me how it felt to be 16, I wanted to punch them in the face and tell them that if this is how it felt to be sixteen, it would be a sucky year. But I just mumbled " Feels the same as yesterday." I didn't know how many of my friends knew and how many didn't. The only thing that kept me from going insane was the fact I knew that I would meet Gunny again, and that the Savior knew what I was going through.
Practice kept going, but it wasn't the same. The whole guard kept expecting him to come through the door. Coach announced that Gunny's funeral was going to be very non-traditional. Instead of having a funeral, it was going to be a celebration of his life. But coach wasn't finished, we were also going to perform our show, Citizen Solider at his funeral. Instead of having a cot that Hollywood was going to sit on, there were going to be empty boots and a rifle. This was going to the impossible. But Coach asked us to do it for his family, and if Coach asked us to do anything, we knew it was possible. "Let's do it for Gunny" Hollywood says through tears.

                                                        We did. For Gunny.